It's been quite awhile.

Well, here I am. The eighth month of 2010, and no post all year. I don't really know what prompted me all of a sudden to make an entry-I've felt no need to since I was concentrating on many other things happening in my life at the moment. I guess it was a sudden spark inside of me that pushed me to write this little recap.

Lately, a LOT has been happening to me emotionally and within my family. I had lost basically all of my love of lolita fashion, something that had been extremely important in my life for a long time. I guess you can say I practically gave up everything that made me happy as an individual young woman. I tried to have the enthusiasm I had before for the things I loved, but no matter how hard I tried, it seemed to be gone. I guess it was part depression, or part of my maturation, either way, I felt awful. A dear friend of mine, Avina, a lolita herself, who was in quite the same predicament as I am when it comes to the fashion has started what is called a "tumblog" on the popular site, Tumblr, called, "The Everyday Lolita" to help inspire her to get back into the fashion she so loves herself. The social world of lolita fashion is one that is very complex. Because it is such a specific niche, it's hard to find many that will share the same interests with you, and even then, it's hard to wear in public without strange looks. I "fell out" of lolita for reasons more than the drama. For one, it was too expensive. I hardly have a quarter of what most girls have and it is quite the hobby. In addition, with all the changes and pain I have been experiencing this entire 2010, I felt the need to start fresh-to let go, and to venture into new territory. I'm still not there, and in fact, it has been hard for me to completely stray away from what has been so dear to me. I have decided that at least for now, I'm going to do my own thing. I love lolita, but I'm still sticking to my guns and not losing track of what is really important and what is immediate to face in my life right now. Hopefully in the future I can branch off and mix styles and fashions. I like the cute, but I like the grown-up as well. I think that I have definitely become more mature after taking some time away from lolita, but my blog still won't be based off of lolita. It will be based off of me. I've realized through maturing bit by bit, I can still love the things I did if I have the desire to. I know that spark inside is that desire. But I guess I wanted to make some sort of physical documentation that lolita will always be apart of me-I would like to maybe try making some designs again. I'm that Lolita Enthusiast. I'll still look at the pictures-and maybe I'm doing a little of what Avina did with Tumblog here. I'm trying to regain that spark of my love of lolita fashion (and of fashion in general) and all things pretty and beautiful- to regain that lost part of myself that I haven't seen in almost a year and to write about it and have fun with it here on my blog while at the same time writing about the other side of me-the me that I'm constantly discovering as each day passes on and that has been developing since I last posted here.